Monday, August 30, 2010

quote of the day

This is dialogue from the West Wing Episode the Midterms written by Aaron Sorkin. In this scene President Bartlet addresses conservative talk-show host Dr. Jenna Jacobs(I wonder who she is based on?)


BARTLET
I'm sorry, um... you're Dr. Jenna Jacobs, right?

JENNA JACOBS
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
It's good to have you here.

JENNA JACOBS
Thank you.

BARTLET
The awesome impact of the airwaves and how that translates into the furthering of our national
discussions but obviously also how it can... how it can...

He sighs, and addresses Jenna Jacobs again.

BARTLET
Forgive me, Dr. Jacobs. Are you an M.D.?

JENNA JACOBS
Ph.D.

BARTLET
A Ph.D.?

JENNA JACOBS
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
In Psychology?

JENNA JACOBS
No sir.

BARTLET
Theology?

JENNA JACOBS
No.

BARTLET
Social work?

JENNA JACOBS
I have a Ph.D. in English Literature.

BARTLET
I'm asking, 'cause on your show, people call in for advice and you go by the name of
Dr. Jacobs on your show. And I didn't know if maybe your listeners were confused by that,
and assumed you had advanced training in Psychology, Theology, or health care.

JENNA JACOBS
I don't believe they are confused, no sir.

BARTLET
Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.

JENNA JACOBS
I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.

BARTLET
Yes, it does. Leviticus.

JENNA JACOBS
18:22

BARTLET
Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here.
I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
(small chuckles from the guests) She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, and
always clears the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While
thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff, LeoO McGarry, insists on working
on the Sabbath, Exodus 35:2, clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important,
'cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes
us unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins
still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be
together to stone my brother, John, for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn
my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?

Think about those questions, would you? One last thing, while you may be mistaking this
for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Club, in this building, when the President
stands, nobody sits.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

So I'm not an american

As I'm sure many of you know, Glenn Beck held a little shin-dig in Washington DC this weekend. At this Conservative Prat Party(get it frat--prat, yep I do puns now) Sarah Palin(who as you all know is one of favorite people in politics) made a speech(I like using parentheses to provide humorous asides, can you tell?) in which she said to the crowd: "Look around you; you are not alone. You are Americans!"

So I can interpret that two ways. 1) I'm not American because I was neither there nor agree with her politics or 2) The crowd was a little confused as to what to chant. One person started chanting "Canada! Canada! Canada!" another yelled "Go Wales!" but the largest group was chanting "Luxembourg! Luxembourg! Luxembourg!". So Mrs. Palin had to go up there and remind them that they were Americans after all. Or maybe it's 3) She was saying something generic and clichéd to whip up a crowd without actually thinking about what the heck it was supposed to mean. Personally I'm going with the 2nd.

I am now going to talk about Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck who basically every liberal worth his or her salt has trashed. Glenn Beck who says thing like Look forward. Look West. Look to the heavens. Look to God and make your choice, Do we no longer believe in the power of the individual? Do we no longer believe in dreams?".

Here is what I want to say about Glenn Beck, He's satirizing the Conservative Media. Seriously, Glenn Beck has basically become Stephen Colbert. What he says is so crazy, so out there, and is performed in such an over-the-top way that he's gotta be joking. Or nuts. Or just in it for the money. Personally(as someone who used to occasionally watch clips of Glenn's CNN show) I'll go for the first one. He used to have a sense of humor and some rational thought. And now he's jumping around, tearing up in a really, really obviously fake way, writing crazy things on a chalk board. It's either money or humor. And I want to go with the humor because Glenn Beck used to strike me as a nice enough guy. He did say some pretty conservative things but he was rational and slightly rational about it. On CNN he did once compare having to choose between Obama, Clinton, or McCain as having to choose between being shot, stabbed, or poisoned, but he was still a little logical. Now he just isn't, but he is very entertaining. And I'm not sure that when I'm laughing at Glenn Beck, he isn't laughing along with me.

Friday, August 27, 2010

lyrics of the week

Waiting for the Great Leap forwards(live) by Billy Bragg(you have no idea how much I wish I had wrote this)


It may have been Camelot for Jack and Jacqueline
But on the Che Guevara highway filling up with gasoline
Little Donald Rumsfeld spies a rich lady who's crying
Over luxury's disappointment, so he walks over and he's trying
To sympathise with her but he thinks that he should warn her
To be prepared to be bombed back into the Stone Age
(Ya, how’s that touch you? Ya fancy that? Maybe back into the Ice Age even. Who knows.)

In the former Soviet Union the citizens demand
As to why they are still the target of Strategic Air Command?
And they shake their fists in anger and respectfully suggest
We take the money from our missiles and spend it on our hospitals instead.

Mixing Pop and Politics they ask me what the use is
I offer them my acupuncturists and my masseusses
While looking down the corridor
Out to where my ego is waiting
I'm looking for the New World Order


Jumble sales are organized, all my mates have got fat
Even after all this time you can still swing round a cat
You can be active with the activists
Or sleep in with the media
While you're waiting for the Great Leap Forwards

Oh, one leap forward, two leaps back
Will YouTube give MTV the sack ?
Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards

Well here comes the future and you can't run from it
If you've got a wesite I want to be on it
Can I be your friend? Can I say it with a smiley? Ya

In a perfect world we'd all sing in tune
But this is reality not american idol
Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards, ya

It's a mighty long way down rock 'n roll
From Top of the Pops to diggin’ a hole
You're Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards

So join the struggle while you may
The Revolution is just an ethical haircut away
When you’re waiting for the Great Leap Forwards

Thursday, August 19, 2010

In which I am so freaking angry

Warning: The Following Post Contains Graphic Ranting Which May Offend members of the mild-mannered public

Alright so I'm mad. A new poll came out which says that 1/3 of Americans believe that President Obama is a Christian, down from 1/2 last year. And 1/5 of our wonderful nation think that Obama is a Muslim. A different poll has 47% for Christian and 24% for Muslim. Also 61% are opposed to the "Ground Zero" "Mosque" with 26% favoring it.

Soooooo, It is now official: We are total freaking idiots. I'm glad that's wrapped up, we can all go home. Ta-ta.

Seriously, did aliens visit the participants in that poll and steal their brains? I try very hard to be accepting of people with different beliefs and opinions than me, but this time I just can't. This is so ridicules and so crazy and so dangerous that it's time for me to stand up. We have people talking in the Senate of The United States of America about repealing the 14th Amendment! We have a law in Arizona that is blatantly racist!

We don't like Obama because he hasn't done the stuff he said he was going to so we're going to vote in a bunch of people who totally disagree with everything he's ever said. Does that Make sense? Heck no, but we're Americans, We don't think we just do!

None of this is Obama's fault. It is the Republicans who have perverted the Constitution so that you need 60 votes to pass anything in the Senate. Their new motto is "No. I don't care what the question is, my answer is no" or as James McMurtry said "A Little Bit of Hope is a Dangerous thing"

In some ways I hope that the Republicans do win back the Congress this year so every day, every freaking day I can trash them. I will desimate them and I hope the Democrats do too. They won't be able to pass a single thing. But then Fox News will say that they're being "Obstructionists who are un-American". We just can't win.

I hope, I really hope that the American people will see sense and ignore the storyline that the media is creating and vote for the people who they agree with. The people who they think will do the best job.

Here are some lyrics to get my battle against the right started. These are not some of my most sophisticated lyrics but they get my point across.

Burn The Flag

Hey yeah

hey yeah we just got into congress
hey yeah it's time to rule the nation
it's time to destroy the nation

hey yeah it's time to fill our pockets
let's forget what our founders would have wanted
let's forget about what they would have wanted

let's shove our own insane agenda
down the throat of the USA

Hey let's get together and burn the flag
let's get together and torch the white house
let's get together and topple the monuments

let's get together and build big bonfire
take the constitution
and toss it on it

let's get together and burn the flag
let's get together and burn the flag
let's get together and burn the flag

hey yeah we are republicans the GOP
and we don't really care about economics
unless we can't fill our pockets

let's shove our own insane agenda
down the throat of the USA

let's get together and burn the flag
let's get together and burn the flag
let's get together and burn the flag

come on let's go find old Maddison
dig em up stick em' on
a pole and burn him

let's get together and burn the flag
let's get together and burn the flag
let's get together and burn the flag

I am a talk show host
and I don't care what I say
I just want people to like me

let's get together and burn the flag
let's get together and burn the flag
let's get together and burn the flag

let's shove our own insane agenda
down the throat of the USA

let's get together and burn the flag

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

In Which I Strongly Object To Those Islamist Trying To Take Away My Rights

So I don't know about you, but I am shocked and appalled about this whole-Mosque-at-Ground-Zero fiasco and I have decided that it is time to speak up! These people who attacked us on September 11th want to shove their religious opinions down our throats! I mean what possible reason could there be to build a Muslim Education Center in the vicinity of Ground Zero? What possible reason?!

On September 11th, 2001 we were attacked by people who hate and wish to destroy our valuable freedoms. We need to let Ground Zero stand as a monument to future generations that our freedom was challenged but we held firm. But we cannot have this monument if we allow a religious faith to build a cultural center two blocks from where our freedoms were attacked, that's like spitting on the Bill of Rights!

Now don't get me wrong, I'm tolerant, I'm open, and I'm a big fan of religious freedom as long as it doesn't involve anyone I disagree with doing anything that I don't like! I mean seriously! First we let them build an education center and then what?! They'll want to vote? They'll want to be able to be able to run for office? And then where will we be? Muslims running the Government, out goes separation between Church and State!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Lyrics of the week

Ok this one is weird. Just a warning.

Watching You (While You Sleep)

everyday
at around 10
you go up to your room
and put on your pig jammies

then you lay down
and read Mag Cabot
then you turn off your light
and go to sleep

Now you may wonder
how I know this
there's really a very simple explanation
you see I've been

Watching You While You Sleep
Oh oh oh
Watching You while You Sleep
Some say it's perverted
some say it's mad
but me I just call it love
oh
Watching You While You Sleep

It's not that I'm a stalker
it's just that I'm bored
there aint much to do in this town at night
when you can't sleep
all I do is

Watch You While You Sleep
Oh oh oh
Watching You while You Sleep
Some say it's perverted
some say it's mad
but me I just call it love
oh
Watching You While You Sleep

`

lyrics of the week

So in the next few days I will be posting numerous songs that I wrote(I had a very productive week writingwise). I will start off with Loner.



Loner

No
Take It away
I'm Fine
I don't need drugs

I'm Fine
Just Leave me alone
I'm a-ok all on my own

I'm not insane
I'm just a loner
I'm okay
all alone

Don't put me
in any padded cell
I'm fine
listen to me

Just because
I'm not like you
doesn't mean I'm crazy

I'm not insane
I'm just a loner
I'm fine
all alone

No Pop
I'm not a narcissist
Nope Doc
I'm not a sociopath

Why can't you understand
this is how I am
I like being alone

I'm not insane
I'm just a loner
I'm okay
just being alone

I want to be let alone
I want to be let alone
I want to be let alone

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

In which I am uncharacteristically nice part 1

I have decided that there should be a new semi-regular feature in which I promote work that friends of mine have done. Here is part 1



www.ourstage.com