So one of my all time favorite pieces of entertainment, Doctor Who, starts in a few weeks and numerous rumors and teasers have been circulating/released by the writers. So I decided to talk a bit about my thoughts on these teasers and the new trailer.
Spoilers ahead.
At the end of the last season the TARDIS(Time and Relative Dimension in Space, do keep up) was hijacked and blown up by a person with mysterious(and creepy as heck) voice who said "Silence Will Fall" Steven Moffat(the head writer, obviously, how could you ever think any different?) made the clever decision to not just end it there. He continued it on to the next season(the one which starts in a few weeks). All of us Whovians have been speculating for almost a year as to who the voice is.
Another question is, of course, who is River Song(I can't tell you who she is, because no one knows who she is! Geez!) Is she the Doctor's wife?(lame) Is she the Doctor's mother?(less lame but really, really creepy) Is she Amy Pond in another form(lesser lame) Is she the TARDIS(really really odd) Now the cast and writers, in a Q&A yesterday, basically said that the first three are untrue(I assume, they made fun of them and basically said that they were crazy. But who knows? We are in the middle of a massive BBC conspiracy. Trust No One).
Then, last week, it came out that the Neil Gaiman penned episode will be titled The Doctor's Wife. And its description is that a woman(who is not River Song, this has been confirmed) knocks on the TARDIS door. She has a new face but is not new to the Doctor at all. So this raises anticipation for the series to begin even higher.
And then, and then. A few days ago Moffat announced that in the first episode one of the leads will die. He said, "We're not lying, we're not cheating: one of those four people is going to die! When I came up with this heart-wrenching twist, I thought 'We'll kill off one of the leads in the season opener.' It lures you in."
Now we have been promised a death before(CURSE YOU RTD!!!) and were cheated(CURSE YOU RTD!!!) but I trust Moffat more than numerous family members and friends right now so I believe him.
But this raises an issue. In the trailer for the new series we see three of the leads(Amy, The Doctor, and Rory) in other episodes. So this leaves River Song but we've already seen how she dies(Timey Whimey stuff) and it's in a library.
I will now, because I am a nerd with too much time on my hands, dissect the trailer for the new series, second for second.
1: Doctor in Chains, with a beard. A female voice says "this is the doctor's..." The Doctor's what?! Tell me!!!
2. "Darkest Hour" Ohhhh Okay, that makes sense.
3. Shipyard in the future. The Doctor's standing next to a women, who isn't Amy or River song. Could this be his wife? the voice continues "He will rise higher..." Is the Doctor a drug addict? that would be an interesting twist.
4. "Than ever before and then fall" So he's climbing a ladder, okay Mr. Moffat where are you going with this?
5. Someone in the dark, in a cloak leading a horse drawn carriage while a gaslamp flickers. I HAVE IT!! Oh this is so awesome! Neil Gaiman's episode....is the long awaited sequel to his masterpiece Neverwhere! Oh My God It'll be so epic, so, so epic. Seriously, Matt Smith beating up angels? Best. Thing Ever! "So Far" The voice says, so it's a high ladder.
6. weird creepy eye. Very creepy eye. It looks pained. Why are you so sad, eye?
7. Weird Creepy Paper Mache doll thing. I don't like this thing, it scares me. Make it go away.
8. Astronaut raising his hand to reach out to us. Where are you going Astronaut man? Don't leave us!
9. "This is the day he finds out" the voice continues "who I am" we see river song kissing the doctor, full on the mouth. This might be why Moffat made fun of the Mother theory. The voice is revealed to be River Song.
10. The doctor is coming into focus and saying gibberish.
11. Still gibberish. It sounds like "Hey, bye, bye, gum" Where is the Gum going Doctor? Where is it going?!!
12. Space thingy.
13. TARDIS flies out of the space thingy, what an intriguing twist, well played sir, well played.
14. Doctor opens TARDIS doors dramatically. Matt Smith is seriously awesome, anyway...
15. "Okay" says Amy. What's okay, why wouldn't things be okay, WHAT IS GOING ON?!!!
16. Amy comes into focus, looking worried, "Where are we" she asks, trying to stay calm.
17. Doctor looks, astonished at the TARDIS console. Where are we Doctor, Where have you taken us?!!!
18. "Where We've never ever been" The Doctor replies, shocked. Bermuda! We've never been there, and I hear it's nice, Snow Cones on me!!
19. Moon Colony thingy. Looks like Bespin, why does it look like Bespin?
20. A gunshot rings out and the Doctor's cowboy hat flies off. All Right, Partner, This Means War.
21. Creepy people standing. Two of them have weird helmety things and spears. It's Aquaman and his minions!! Run IN FEAR!!!
22. The Doctor is wearing a space helment "look how" He says....What A cliffhanger!!! All those reviewers were right!!
23. "this stuff is" the doctor finishes looking like a happy schoolboy.
24. TARDIS console is blowing up. Doctor and Rory are blown backwards.
25. River Song is dancing...WITH A LASER!! She's in a tank top, spinning around, with a red lasery thing. What the heck is up with that?
26. Big Ship, a real ship, must be from the Pirate Episode(yes there is a Pirate episode, Yay!)
27. Quick shot of people screaming(must be the Silents from the First Episode, Somebody said they resemble with the famous painting The Scream) and then some dude with a beard looking worried. Must be from the Pirate Episode(there's some famous guy with a beard in that episode apparently)
28. Porcelain Dolls on the war path, this might get ugly.
29. Door flies open and we see, with creppy light behind it.....A DOLLHOUSE!!! OH MY HEAVENS IT"S A FREAKING DOLL HOUSE!!! THIS IS SO FREAKING EPIC!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!
30. Kid Looking Scared. A deep voice says "Fear Me" Okay mate, I will.
31. Doctor looking disdainful, the deep voice continues "I've killed hundreds of Time Lords" Okay mate, now I really fear you.
32. The Doctor still looks disdainful.
33. "Fear me" The Doctor replies, but....Your' Hair's so funny....
34. "I've Killed All of them" Okay now, I do fear you, despite the hair.
35. Doctor being blown off a ladder....This must be when he falls so far.
36. Blue light being shot at Amy and Rory.
37. Creepy doll thing(there seem to be a lot of those) this one is a ventrilquist's dummy, which are innately scary(no joke, and the monkey wind up things that clap cymbals are like the scariest things ever)
38. (the big one, the whole reason I'm doing this) Rory is in...THE 10TH DOCTOR'S TARDIS!!! Yes it is clearly the TARDIS used by David Tennant. And someone is regenerating. Why is Rory in the 10th Doctor's TARDIS? I have no idea....BUT I WANT TO FIND OUT!!!!
39. An eye being pressed to a whole and The Doctor dressed as a sad clown(which by the way ARE FREAKING TERRIFYING)
40. Pirate guy reaching out to touch a mermaid's bubble
41. Mermaid looks unhappy/cruel. Don't trust her, Pirate Guy!!!
42. Minotaur staring into the camera. I like Minotaurs.
43. Hot sandy place. Probably Utah.
44. Amy running, and she glances back behind her....what is she running from?!
45. We don't see because we cut to The Doctor pretending to be a Jedi with his sonic screwdriver.
46. Child's eye looking through a crack in the door.
47. Amy jumping up, she's swinging something....WHAT IS IT?
48. A gun! The Doctor yells no as Amy screams
49. And fires!!
50. "I've been running" The Doctor says, SPOILER!! There will be running in Doctor Who, shocker I know.
51. "My Whole Life" The Doctor continues.
52. Doctor looks shocked and worried. "Now it's time for me to stop." He finishes. No more running in Doctor Who? How can this be?
So there we are....thoughts?
I'll post later with mine. By later I mean a few days or so.
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3 comments:
Initial Thought: You should blog when bored more often. This was hilarious.
But in all seriousness...
RTD and Julie Gardner used to do a podcast called Doctor Who: The Commentaries during Season 4/the specials, and they agreed that the one time lord woman in The End of Time is the Doctor's mother.
And yes, I really did go dig through the archives of Doctor Who News to find the trailer in question and watched it second by second and pausing to read your commentary. Because I too am a nerd with too much time on her hands.
I intend to be fully terrified by this season in (hopefully) the best way possible. If Matt Smith says this season has the best monsters since the Weeping Angels... (and on that note, we HAVE seen him beating up angels before, but yes. Neverwhere.) When I saw those dolls the first time, it was one of those moments where I find a wall to lean against just so I know there isn't anything standing behind me.
I'm glad you didn't understand "hey bye bye gum" either. I was afraid I was missing something.
River Song is clearly Darth Maul. There's such a theme: Bespin, Doctor Jedi, Twirling With Red Laser...forget all of the other theories.
And if monkeys with cymbals scare you...DO NOT GO TO FLORENCE EVER. There's these wooden Pinocchio dolls all over the place...mechanical ones, so they move.
funny thing about the star wars thing.....It has been said that the midseason cliffhanger will be reminiscent of Empire Strikes Back which is why people think.....THAT THE DOCTOR WILL BE FROZEN LIKE HAN SOLO
I'm not sure if that's ridiculous or awesome.
And it kind of makes sense.
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