In which I make all my nerd readers very mad

So in nerd culture there are certain people who are considered to be Geek Gods and beyond reproach. These include JK Rowling, John Green, and Joss Whedon. Mr. Whedon is a director and screenwriter who has created such tv shows as Firefly, Dollhouse, and Buffy The Vampire Slayer. And I have a bit of a problem with him, or at least the perception of him as being flawless and a genius.

Let me be clear, before I go on, that I do consider myself a Whedon fan. I do enjoy most of everything he's ever done. However, I find some problems with his work. I shall focus on primarily Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it being his longest running and best known work.

Buffy suffers from a key flaw: It is totally Monster of The Week. By that I mean, every episode has the main character facing up against a monster and that's what the episode is based around. I cannot recall an episode in which there is no monster. To me it gets a little monotonous. What I care about, why I watch the show, is the characters and their relationships. But often the relationships take a back seat to the giant(and often awesome) fight scenes. Which leads me into another problem I have: the fight scenes.

Now I love me a good fight scene, don't get me wrong, but here's the thing about Buffy....The title character is a vampire slayer. Crazy I know, but part of her slaying awesomeness is that she can ram a stick through a vampire's chest and kill it. So, the natural thing to do when you see a vampire and you can do that is to take out the stake right off and take that vamp down. But instead, every single time, she beats the dude up and then stakes him. This seems unnecessarily time consuming and strenuous and takes me out of the show.

One other problem I have, and this goes most to Whedon then any of the others, is some of the plot solutions are just flat out silly. For example: In the first three seasons Buffy has a vampire love interest named Angel(keep in mind that this is eight years before Twilight) and in the end of Season 3 he leaves to star in a spinoff series. Whedon(I assume him, being the showrunner) decided to bring in another vampire, the awesomely fantastic Spike. A great decision, one that made the show way better. But the way it was done was so.......I don't know, Bad. It was just bad. Spike had appeared before in the series as a villain but they wanted to make a semi-hero and thus needed a reason for him to stop randomly killing people. So, in the episode where he comes back, a secret government organization plants a chip in his brain that makes it impossible for him to hurt people. That is just simply lazy writing and, again, pulled me out of the show.

So that is my rant for the day.

In which I am very, very, very Geeky

So one of my all time favorite pieces of entertainment, Doctor Who, starts in a few weeks and numerous rumors and teasers have been circulating/released by the writers. So I decided to talk a bit about my thoughts on these teasers and the new trailer.

Spoilers ahead.


At the end of the last season the TARDIS(Time and Relative Dimension in Space, do keep up) was hijacked and blown up by a person with mysterious(and creepy as heck) voice who said "Silence Will Fall" Steven Moffat(the head writer, obviously, how could you ever think any different?) made the clever decision to not just end it there. He continued it on to the next season(the one which starts in a few weeks). All of us Whovians have been speculating for almost a year as to who the voice is.

Another question is, of course, who is River Song(I can't tell you who she is, because no one knows who she is! Geez!) Is she the Doctor's wife?(lame) Is she the Doctor's mother?(less lame but really, really creepy) Is she Amy Pond in another form(lesser lame) Is she the TARDIS(really really odd) Now the cast and writers, in a Q&A yesterday, basically said that the first three are untrue(I assume, they made fun of them and basically said that they were crazy. But who knows? We are in the middle of a massive BBC conspiracy. Trust No One).

Then, last week, it came out that the Neil Gaiman penned episode will be titled The Doctor's Wife. And its description is that a woman(who is not River Song, this has been confirmed) knocks on the TARDIS door. She has a new face but is not new to the Doctor at all. So this raises anticipation for the series to begin even higher.

And then, and then. A few days ago Moffat announced that in the first episode one of the leads will die. He said, "We're not lying, we're not cheating: one of those four people is going to die! When I came up with this heart-wrenching twist, I thought 'We'll kill off one of the leads in the season opener.' It lures you in."

Now we have been promised a death before(CURSE YOU RTD!!!) and were cheated(CURSE YOU RTD!!!) but I trust Moffat more than numerous family members and friends right now so I believe him.

But this raises an issue. In the trailer for the new series we see three of the leads(Amy, The Doctor, and Rory) in other episodes. So this leaves River Song but we've already seen how she dies(Timey Whimey stuff) and it's in a library.

I will now, because I am a nerd with too much time on my hands, dissect the trailer for the new series, second for second.

1: Doctor in Chains, with a beard. A female voice says "this is the doctor's..." The Doctor's what?! Tell me!!!

2. "Darkest Hour" Ohhhh Okay, that makes sense.

3. Shipyard in the future. The Doctor's standing next to a women, who isn't Amy or River song. Could this be his wife? the voice continues "He will rise higher..." Is the Doctor a drug addict? that would be an interesting twist.

4. "Than ever before and then fall" So he's climbing a ladder, okay Mr. Moffat where are you going with this?

5. Someone in the dark, in a cloak leading a horse drawn carriage while a gaslamp flickers. I HAVE IT!! Oh this is so awesome! Neil Gaiman's episode....is the long awaited sequel to his masterpiece Neverwhere! Oh My God It'll be so epic, so, so epic. Seriously, Matt Smith beating up angels? Best. Thing Ever! "So Far" The voice says, so it's a high ladder.

6. weird creepy eye. Very creepy eye. It looks pained. Why are you so sad, eye?

7. Weird Creepy Paper Mache doll thing. I don't like this thing, it scares me. Make it go away.

8. Astronaut raising his hand to reach out to us. Where are you going Astronaut man? Don't leave us!

9. "This is the day he finds out" the voice continues "who I am" we see river song kissing the doctor, full on the mouth. This might be why Moffat made fun of the Mother theory. The voice is revealed to be River Song.

10. The doctor is coming into focus and saying gibberish.

11. Still gibberish. It sounds like "Hey, bye, bye, gum" Where is the Gum going Doctor? Where is it going?!!

12. Space thingy.

13. TARDIS flies out of the space thingy, what an intriguing twist, well played sir, well played.

14. Doctor opens TARDIS doors dramatically. Matt Smith is seriously awesome, anyway...

15. "Okay" says Amy. What's okay, why wouldn't things be okay, WHAT IS GOING ON?!!!

16. Amy comes into focus, looking worried, "Where are we" she asks, trying to stay calm.

17. Doctor looks, astonished at the TARDIS console. Where are we Doctor, Where have you taken us?!!!

18. "Where We've never ever been" The Doctor replies, shocked. Bermuda! We've never been there, and I hear it's nice, Snow Cones on me!!

19. Moon Colony thingy. Looks like Bespin, why does it look like Bespin?

20. A gunshot rings out and the Doctor's cowboy hat flies off. All Right, Partner, This Means War.

21. Creepy people standing. Two of them have weird helmety things and spears. It's Aquaman and his minions!! Run IN FEAR!!!

22. The Doctor is wearing a space helment "look how" He says....What A cliffhanger!!! All those reviewers were right!!

23. "this stuff is" the doctor finishes looking like a happy schoolboy.

24. TARDIS console is blowing up. Doctor and Rory are blown backwards.

25. River Song is dancing...WITH A LASER!! She's in a tank top, spinning around, with a red lasery thing. What the heck is up with that?

26. Big Ship, a real ship, must be from the Pirate Episode(yes there is a Pirate episode, Yay!)

27. Quick shot of people screaming(must be the Silents from the First Episode, Somebody said they resemble with the famous painting The Scream) and then some dude with a beard looking worried. Must be from the Pirate Episode(there's some famous guy with a beard in that episode apparently)

28. Porcelain Dolls on the war path, this might get ugly.

29. Door flies open and we see, with creppy light behind it.....A DOLLHOUSE!!! OH MY HEAVENS IT"S A FREAKING DOLL HOUSE!!! THIS IS SO FREAKING EPIC!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

30. Kid Looking Scared. A deep voice says "Fear Me" Okay mate, I will.

31. Doctor looking disdainful, the deep voice continues "I've killed hundreds of Time Lords" Okay mate, now I really fear you.

32. The Doctor still looks disdainful.

33. "Fear me" The Doctor replies, but....Your' Hair's so funny....

34. "I've Killed All of them" Okay now, I do fear you, despite the hair.

35. Doctor being blown off a ladder....This must be when he falls so far.

36. Blue light being shot at Amy and Rory.

37. Creepy doll thing(there seem to be a lot of those) this one is a ventrilquist's dummy, which are innately scary(no joke, and the monkey wind up things that clap cymbals are like the scariest things ever)

38. (the big one, the whole reason I'm doing this) Rory is in...THE 10TH DOCTOR'S TARDIS!!! Yes it is clearly the TARDIS used by David Tennant. And someone is regenerating. Why is Rory in the 10th Doctor's TARDIS? I have no idea....BUT I WANT TO FIND OUT!!!!

39. An eye being pressed to a whole and The Doctor dressed as a sad clown(which by the way ARE FREAKING TERRIFYING)

40. Pirate guy reaching out to touch a mermaid's bubble

41. Mermaid looks unhappy/cruel. Don't trust her, Pirate Guy!!!

42. Minotaur staring into the camera. I like Minotaurs.

43. Hot sandy place. Probably Utah.

44. Amy running, and she glances back behind her....what is she running from?!

45. We don't see because we cut to The Doctor pretending to be a Jedi with his sonic screwdriver.

46. Child's eye looking through a crack in the door.

47. Amy jumping up, she's swinging something....WHAT IS IT?

48. A gun! The Doctor yells no as Amy screams

49. And fires!!

50. "I've been running" The Doctor says, SPOILER!! There will be running in Doctor Who, shocker I know.

51. "My Whole Life" The Doctor continues.

52. Doctor looks shocked and worried. "Now it's time for me to stop." He finishes. No more running in Doctor Who? How can this be?



So there we are....thoughts?

I'll post later with mine. By later I mean a few days or so.

quote of the day

The Presidential Debate West Wing Style

RITCHIE
[on TV] Let the states decide. Let the communities decide on health care, on education,
on lower taxes, not higher taxes. Now, he's going to throw a big word at you-- "unfunded
mandate." If Washington lets the states do it, it's an unfunded mandate. But what he
doesn't like is the federal government losing power. But I call it the ingenuity of the
American people.

MODERATOR
[on TV] President Bartlet, you have 60 seconds for a question and an answer.

BARTLET
[on TV] Well, first of all, let's clear up a couple of things. "Unfunded mandate" is two
words, not one "big word."

They cheer backstage.

BARTLET
[on TV] There are times when we're fifty states and there are times when we're one
country, and have national needs. And the way I know this is that Florida didn't fight
Germany in World War II or establish civil rights. You think states should do the
governing wall-to-wall. That's a perfectly valid opinion. But your state of Florida got
$12.6 billion in federal money last year-- from Nebraskans, and Virginians, and New
Yorkers, and Alaskans, with their Eskimo poetry. 12.6 out of a state budget of $50
billion, and I'm supposed to be using this time for a question, so here it is: Can we
have it back, please?

quote of the day

This is dialogue from the West Wing Episode the Midterms written by Aaron Sorkin. In this scene President Bartlet addresses conservative talk-show host Dr. Jenna Jacobs(I wonder who she is based on?)


BARTLET
I'm sorry, um... you're Dr. Jenna Jacobs, right?

JENNA JACOBS
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
It's good to have you here.

JENNA JACOBS
Thank you.

BARTLET
The awesome impact of the airwaves and how that translates into the furthering of our national
discussions but obviously also how it can... how it can...

He sighs, and addresses Jenna Jacobs again.

BARTLET
Forgive me, Dr. Jacobs. Are you an M.D.?

JENNA JACOBS
Ph.D.

BARTLET
A Ph.D.?

JENNA JACOBS
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
In Psychology?

JENNA JACOBS
No sir.

BARTLET
Theology?

JENNA JACOBS
No.

BARTLET
Social work?

JENNA JACOBS
I have a Ph.D. in English Literature.

BARTLET
I'm asking, 'cause on your show, people call in for advice and you go by the name of
Dr. Jacobs on your show. And I didn't know if maybe your listeners were confused by that,
and assumed you had advanced training in Psychology, Theology, or health care.

JENNA JACOBS
I don't believe they are confused, no sir.

BARTLET
Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.

JENNA JACOBS
I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.

BARTLET
Yes, it does. Leviticus.

JENNA JACOBS
18:22

BARTLET
Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here.
I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
(small chuckles from the guests) She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, and
always clears the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While
thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff, LeoO McGarry, insists on working
on the Sabbath, Exodus 35:2, clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important,
'cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes
us unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins
still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be
together to stone my brother, John, for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn
my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?

Think about those questions, would you? One last thing, while you may be mistaking this
for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Club, in this building, when the President
stands, nobody sits.

So I'm not an american

As I'm sure many of you know, Glenn Beck held a little shin-dig in Washington DC this weekend. At this Conservative Prat Party(get it frat--prat, yep I do puns now) Sarah Palin(who as you all know is one of favorite people in politics) made a speech(I like using parentheses to provide humorous asides, can you tell?) in which she said to the crowd: "Look around you; you are not alone. You are Americans!"

So I can interpret that two ways. 1) I'm not American because I was neither there nor agree with her politics or 2) The crowd was a little confused as to what to chant. One person started chanting "Canada! Canada! Canada!" another yelled "Go Wales!" but the largest group was chanting "Luxembourg! Luxembourg! Luxembourg!". So Mrs. Palin had to go up there and remind them that they were Americans after all. Or maybe it's 3) She was saying something generic and clichéd to whip up a crowd without actually thinking about what the heck it was supposed to mean. Personally I'm going with the 2nd.

I am now going to talk about Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck who basically every liberal worth his or her salt has trashed. Glenn Beck who says thing like Look forward. Look West. Look to the heavens. Look to God and make your choice, Do we no longer believe in the power of the individual? Do we no longer believe in dreams?".

Here is what I want to say about Glenn Beck, He's satirizing the Conservative Media. Seriously, Glenn Beck has basically become Stephen Colbert. What he says is so crazy, so out there, and is performed in such an over-the-top way that he's gotta be joking. Or nuts. Or just in it for the money. Personally(as someone who used to occasionally watch clips of Glenn's CNN show) I'll go for the first one. He used to have a sense of humor and some rational thought. And now he's jumping around, tearing up in a really, really obviously fake way, writing crazy things on a chalk board. It's either money or humor. And I want to go with the humor because Glenn Beck used to strike me as a nice enough guy. He did say some pretty conservative things but he was rational and slightly rational about it. On CNN he did once compare having to choose between Obama, Clinton, or McCain as having to choose between being shot, stabbed, or poisoned, but he was still a little logical. Now he just isn't, but he is very entertaining. And I'm not sure that when I'm laughing at Glenn Beck, he isn't laughing along with me.

quote of the day

The Airline Pilots Sketch
-------------------------

by John Cleese & Graham Chapman

Transcribed from the video:
"John Cleese on How To Irritate People"

The Cast Captain: John Cleese
First Officer: Graham Chapman
Steward: Michael Palin

(The sketch opens in an aeroplane cockpit.
The Captain and the First Officer are whistling idly.
They are obviously very bored.)

C: I spy with my little eye something beginning with S.
FO: Sky.
C: Mm-hm.
FO I spy with my little eye something beginning with C.
C: Cloud.
FO: Yeah.
Oh God, I'm so bored.
C: I'm fed up with that game. Let's play another game.
I know what..
FO: What?

(The Captain picks up a microphone.)

C: (over intercom) "Hello, this is your Captain speaking.
There is absolutely no cause for concern."
That'll get them thinking.

(The First Officer reaches for the microphone.)

C: No, no, no, no. Not yet, not yet. Let it sink in.
They'll be thinking, er, 'What is there no cause for alarm
about? Are the wings on fire?'
(over intercom) "The wings are not on fire."
Now they're thinking, er, 'why should he say that?'
So we say...

(The Steward enters.)

FO: Oh, how are we doing?
S: (looks down the aisle) They've stopped eating;
Looking a bit worried...
C: Good.
S: Hang on, one of them is going to the washroom.
C: Is he there yet?
S: He's just closing the door... NOW!
C: One... Two... Three..
FO: (over intercom) "Please return to your seats and fasten your
seat-belts immediately."
S: Yes... here he comes, going up the aisle like the clappers.
I'll do the worried walk now.

(He leaves.)

FO: Right. Safety regulations.
C: (agreeing) Safety regulations.
FO: (over intercom) "Please listen carefully. I want you, I want
to remind you of some of the safety regulations.
In the case of emergency it is vitally important to..."

(The Captain makes a radio-static type noise.)

FO: "as the warning buzzer sounds."
C: "Bzzzz"

(They both laugh.)

C: Oh, that's got them rattled.
S: (enters) Great, great! (exit)

C: Hey, I've got an idea!
"Hello, you will find your life-jackets under your seats."
FO: No, they're on the racks.
C: Sh, shh, let them scrabble a bit.
"I'm sorry, you will ind them on the racks above your heads."
FO: Aaah!
S: (back again) Great, great, that was marvellous!
FO: Right. Gobbledegook.
C: Oh, yes.
FO "The scransons above your heads are now ready to flange.
Please unfasten your safety belts and press the emergency
photoscamps on the back of the seats in front of you."
S: (looks out) Marvellous, milling about, climbing over the seats.
FO: "Please find the emergency sprill in the washroom at the back
and release it..."
C: "but do not unfasten your safety belts."
S: That got them back to their seats.
FO: "The emergency sprill MUST be released..."
C: "but do not leave your seats."
FO: "Do not panic."
C: "Tea will now be served."
FO: "Inflate your life-jackets"
C: "and extinguish all cigarettes."
FO: "Please remove the luggage from the racks above your heads and
place it on the racks on the other side of the aircraft."
C: "Except for hand luggage..."
FO: "which you should sit on."

(They are in fits of laughter.)

C: Now have a look.
S: (looks) Hang on... hang on... they've all jumped out!

(They laugh, pointing downwards and looking out of the windows.
After a while the laughter dies away.
There is a lengthy pause.)

C: You know, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some trouble
about this.

(They burst out laughing again. The sketch ends.)

quote of the day

"Nobody got hurt at the Boston Tea Party. The only people that got hurt was some fancy boys who didn't have anything to wash down their crumpets with. We jumped out from behind bushes, while the British came down the road in their bright red jackets, but never has a war been so courteously declared. It was on parchment with calligraphy and "Your highness, we beseech you on this day in Philadelphia to bite me, if you please."
Issac and Ishmael(West Wing Episode) By Aaron Sorkin

quote of the day

Rep. Matthew Santos: It's true. Republicans have tried to turn liberal into a bad word. Well, liberals ended slavery in this country.

Sen. Arnold Vinick: A Republican President ended slavery.

Matt Santos: Yes, a liberal Republican; what happened to them, Senator? They got run out of your party! What did liberals do that was so offensive to the Republican Party? I'll tell you what they did. Liberals got women the right to vote. Liberals got African-Americans the right to vote. Liberals created Social Security and lifted millions of elderly people out of poverty. Liberals ended segregation. Liberals passed the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act. Liberals created Medicare. Liberals passed the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act. What did Conservatives do? They opposed them on every one of those things, every one. So when you try to hurl that label at my feet, 'Liberal,' as if it were something to be ashamed of, something dirty, something to run away from, it won't work, Senator, because I will pick up that label and I will wear it as a badge of honor.


Dialog from The Debate(West Wing Episode) by Lawerence O'Donnel Jr

Quote of the Day

"When [Obama] arrived and saw me he said, 'They told me you were here.' And gave me the split fingered Vulcan sign."

----Leonard Nimoy, or Mr. Spock